The inspiration for this song was the beautiful name written in the pan. 
One would think that is is a vintage car. We saw it for the first 
time in a B&B in the lovely village KilKieran (Cill Ciaráin), Connemara, 
Ireland.

We like to thank everyone who has unwillingly co-operated:
The Chinese gouvernment for its commieprop music (about 1965)
The Tuva singers for the 'pressing' intro
Bandleader Ted 'every cloud has a silver lining' Lewis (he died long ago)
American Famous Traindriver Casey Jones (he died so long ago that he 
probably has already returned)
The Monty Python team (for Harold the flying sheep)
Parlophone (for 78 RPM noise and hiss)
Twyfords (for their inspiring products)
The Irish republic (for its musical tradition)
Gerald Hoffnung (this song resembles his 'prelude to a bedtime theme' 
probably better known as 'variations on Borne Vita')
My 200 MHz Pentium (which can simultaniously record and playback 
sounds in .WAV format)


The Twyfords Vitromant Twohundred

Now this here song is about man's best friend. Which is not a dog. 
All over the world people say: A friend in need is a friend indeed. 
So here is a song about: well what? Is it a racing horse?  
Is it a vintage car? well, listen to the Twyfords Vitromant 200..

In Kilkearny in Ireland
A little village fair and square
I came across a nice motel
Where bed and breakfast did me well

My room was tidy and so fine
As were the food served and the wine
It was a very pleasant place
With antique curtains made of lace 

Roaming coily corridors 
I thought up horrors don't no why
I imagined ghosts when suddenly
An ancient relic caught my eye

Made of sturdy porcelain 
Withstanding years of golden rain
Shining bright so awful white
Without a spot or smudgy stain

To my very great surprise 
And uttermost relief
I knew I had a friend at hand
A Twyfords Vitromant 
Twohundred.
 When you ride a fiercefull horse
For hours in a row
Chasing bloody herds of cows 
On vast and dampy plains

You're sure to get a tommy ache
And need to get a break
Then find a saloon and with some luck
There is a helping hand at hand

A Twyfords Vitromant
Twohundred
A Twyfords Vitromant
Twohundred

Yeeee-Haaa

Eating tasty Peking duck
Or pandabrains in soja sauce
Extravagant and strange delights
That make you want to go

Hopefully there is at hand
A friend upon which you can depend
A faithful Twyfords Vitromant
Twohundred

In the year fourthousandten
Our life has long gone by
Scientists will search the soil
Little they will find 

All computers, any kind
Will be ashes like the rest
As cars and plastics and t.v.'s 
Tables, chairs, ceedees 

The only things that still hold stand
Are piramids and our friend
The Twyfords bloody Vitromant
The Twyfords Vitromant 
Twohundred.

We thank you Vitromant 
Respect you Vitromant        
Love you Vitromant        
Need you Vitromant 
Twyfords Vitromant    
Twohundred
Dos cientos 
Zweihunderd
Tweehonderd
Dwa stoooo
Twohundred    

© tekst: Tom Scheelings, Den Haag, 11 februari 2000
© muziek: Willem  Scheelings, Den Haag, 18 mei 2000